playing scrabble

I'm trying to get better at scrabble by playing online. I've got my two-letter wordlist, and my wordfinder program at hand. Each game takes about half an hour – so four games later, i'm sitting here with the sun going down. This post will be full of random things because I can't seem to tell a consistent narrative today. The project for a party did not work out as planned, so now I am just going to use what I cut out by hand. No letterpress. It was just a little disappointment, but probably it saved me a bunch of stress in trying to work out a trade. I also partially cleaned up the leftover pear mess. Stupid fruit flies! I have some sourdough that is progressing nicely. I put in a call to a woman who might have chickens for us. I am very excited to get new chickens. Scott even accepted getting three.


With engagement a lot of women feel there's enormous pressure to show their worth. I read this article today. Getting married is a crazy process – I changed my name, invited my estranged father (who didn't show up) and my biological father, (who stole the show) and was witness to my mother's first meeting with my father since before I was born. There was that, and all the getting married parts. Now that I've had some time to reflect, the event went well. I spent time on the things that I cared about (cupcakes, postcards, art) and with the people I wanted to spend time with. I enjoyed most of the planning, and none of the aftermath. We didn't go into debt. Watching a friend's wedding unfold gave me a little insight into the way other women view the marriage process — the culmination of years of work and training. The execution of childhood fantasies. A recognition of one's worth. They are so happy. My experience was just not the same. There was joy, but no overwhelming validation. I think what's different was that I questioned my participation in every thing, except creating the vows. When we made our vows, I was aware and in the moment. Otherwise, I think that I let the situation run away with me.